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First a little back story previous to that. I'm circumsized. When I was 12ish, I noticed a lump growing on the side of my penis. I of course was positive that it was cancer and I was disfigured and was going to die. This was before google/internet anonymity/etc. I had ongoing confidence issues throughout my teens. In my mind, this lump was enormous, when in fact it was smaller than a pee and not noticeable to the naked eye, only when feeling around down there. I was friends with a girl for a long time (what the k**s today are calling "friendzoned" (which doesn't exist, btw)) and after a year or so of being super close, she eventually got interested in me in that way. We made out (first girl I had kissed even), it was great, ended up fingering her to orgasm, it was everything I hoped for. The next day, it was my turn, I was ready to die, my dick tumor was about to be found out, I stopped her, tearing up, I told her. She said she didn't care, but we'd take it slow. Things went down,. The rest are perfect assholes.Some of the first group use the generic version, they are cheap assholes.Some of them grab the tube out of the medicine cabinet and mistake it for the toothpaste or denture cream, those are either blind assholes or dumb assholes.And if they end up actually using it that way, they’re tasteless assholes.My roommate, @DrakeSteele just told me that he realized he’s not only atheist, he’s sacrilegious, he only yells “Oh, My God” when performing certain rituals in the sack. (Alternatively, when someone is playing with his sac)Many thanks to oriontwin ‎ for this submission!Once upon a time there was a majestic mountain forest. In this forest reigned two princely trees; a grand Beech tree and a grand Birch tree. They grew a little too close to each other and ... well, they weren’t the best of friends. They got along well ... okay, let’s just be happy that they at least weren’t dropping branches on each other.So, all was (relatively) peaceful in the forest until.
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